Here you are, a pleasant surprise in my life. We found each other through mere chance and I keep thinking about how terrifyingly easy it would’ve been to spend our whole lives without knowing each other. And yet here you are.
This friendship, it excites me and it terrifies me. They say new friends bring new energy to the soul and they were right. I feel my soul calling out to yours, happy to find its kin. The weariness has lifted and it has something to look forward to, something to fight for. You bring out parts of me that I’d forgotten existed. You bring with you forgotten memories.
I don’t know why I feel so deeply about you. Maybe it’s because I’ve never met someone quite like you, someone who understands me, someone who knows at least a bit what it’s like to be me. Having spent a lot of my time building walls around me, shutting people out, not letting anyone in, lest I get hurt again, lest they leave; it terrifies me how easily I’ve let you in, how easily you’ve made yourself at home in my heart. I feel like I can’t figure out what you feel for me and its frustrates me. I don’t want this to turn into a passing friendship, forgotten and fading as the days go by.
I want a lot of things. I want to look at the stars with you. I want us to sit in two corners of a room and read, content in the small smiles we share. I want to fight with you over the last slice of pizza (no I don’t love you enough yet to give it up). I want you to tell me it’s going to be okay when my favourite character dies and I promise I’ll do the same for you too. I want to share music with you. I want you to be there when I get married and proudly proclaim you were there when I was sad and lonely too. I want to be there for you through thick and thin like I want you to be there for me. I want a lot of things but I can’t help but wonder whether you want them too. Do you feel the same way I do? Or am I just about to get my heart broken again, a tiny space empty and darkened where you once were.
I look at you and I see myself in you. And I see you too. Maybe not all of you but the fragments that you’ve laid bare before me. But in them I see you as you are. I see you and I want to share silences with you.
Maybe asking for forever is too much, but can I ask for a lifetime? Won’t you stay? Just a little longer…
~⭐